I have been silent for several weeks now.  I am having to regroup my heart and my mind for a new diagnosis for our little human.  For years, ever since her first diagnosis, we were told time and time again that she WAS NOT on the spectrum.  Well, a couple of weeks ago that diagnosis changed.

We have a daughter that is still severely ADHD and also has PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified) also known as ATYPICAL AUTISM.  There it is. The buzz word.. Autism.  Basically all this new diagnosis means is that she shows SOME of the typical signs and behaviors of having autism, but not enough to have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) or to have Asperger’s.  She is basically under the “autism umbrella.”  I was not prepared to receive this diagnosis & it hit my head and heart like a mack truck running over a puppy.  I am still coming to grips with it, but the one thing I have learned from my little person during all of this is that a simple diagnosis DOES NOT CHANGE who she is.  She is still the same little light of joy today as she was on the day before her diagnosis.  She may be atypically autistic, but that doesn’t change who she was or who she is.  I am learning to look past the “diagnosis” and to simply focus on her as the little person she is and will become.

To any parent that is struggling with a new diagnosis, I get it.  it’s scary and maddening and frustrating and hard.  I also know that YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT just like you’ve gotten through everything else and every other day.  Try not to forget that any diagnosis DOES NOT CHANGE THE PERSON YOUR CHILD WAS OR IS.  I’m realizing that all my child needs from me is me.. to be present and to “show up” for her every day.  Her diagnosis does not define her, it is simply a part of who she is, and she is pretty spectacular.


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