. red light/green light

for many SN parents, our lives can feel very similar to the childhood game of red light/green light.

That little plus sign shows on the pregnancy test.

GREEN LIGHT

We race to get everything ready for this new life we will be bringing into the world.

GREEN LIGHT

We bring this beautiful little human into the world and they are just perfect.  10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes and the newborn baby smell.  Soon we are racing to keep up with other parents and checking off the milestones everyone tells us our child is supposed to be hitting.

RED LIGHT

We receive a failure to thrive diagnosis or we realize that something is just not quite right.

GREEN LIGHT

We frantically research anything and everything that “could be wrong” with our perfect little human.  We race around searching for an answer and hoping that we are wrong.

RED LIGHT

While other kids are progressing, evolving, maturing, we see our child fall further and further behind.  Things that “are so cute” as infants become worrisome as infancy turns into toddlerhood.

GREEN LIGHT

Evaluations begin and therapy starts.  Instead of racing back and forth between dance and t-ball, we are racing to OT/PT/SP and ABA.  Instead of paying to stay in hotels for tournaments or recitals, we are paying to stay in hotels for specialist appointments and surgeries.

RED LIGHT

A new diagnosis, a change in medication, an additional diagnosis, a new medication, a new therapy

GREEN LIGHT

and we’re off again.  A constant stop and go.  A race to beat some insane clock because if we can beat it then it won’t beat us, the timekeeper won’t win.  Who is the timekeeper anyway?  Is it us, is it well meaning others, is it all just in our heads.. if it is all in our heads does that make it any less real? (Yes, that was a Harry Potter quote and quite appropriate here!)

RED LIGHT

Meltdown

GREEN LIGHT

I love you mama..

RED LIGHT

hitting a plateau in schooling or therapy

GREEN LIGHT

::picture click:: Little human held a crayon and drew up and down by herself.

“I know it’s hard, but she IS making progress and these things are age appropriate.  That is what we have been hoping and waiting for!” – therapist

RED LIGHT

washing YET ANOTHER set of undies and cleaning up messes because just keeps having accidents even though she knows exactly what she’s doing

GREEN LIGHT

::video:: she named all her colors on her block today!!

GREEN LIGHT

ok.. I can do this, she can do this, WE can do this.. together.

RED LIGHT..GREEN LIGHT..